Racing Thoughts

I wonder if anyone else has a mind like mine. I sometimes feel like my mind is trying to run away from home. I can wake up at 3a.m. and my mind will be running a sprint. I really wish that all this racing my mind does would burn calories like if my whole body would. If so, I wouldn’t have to worry about dieting. I’d be skinny as I was as a teenager.

When my mind starts up it will go straight from one thing to another. Can’t even concentrate on one thing which makes it rather hard at work when working on complicated DDC  controls. Then inevitably the thoughts always returns to past traumas. It really is a pain in the ass sometimes.

I’ve read a lot about mindfulness and meditation and have tried that. It does help some but I still have a long way to go. If I could find a dependable counselor that doesn’t forget appts. I believe maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy would be the way to go. I tried a psychologist once and she just wanted to tell me about her church and argue about a rich preacher at a fancy church in Houston who supposedly wouldn’t let flood victims In the church after the floods. When it old her I didn’t believe half what the liberal news has to say she got confrontational so I walked out. Don’t need that crap. So now I just rely on meds and its semi working for now. I haven’t killed anyone yet so that’s a plus.

So to end today, racing thoughts are hard to deal with and usually lead me to get angry and hate most everybody. Maybe one day ill find the right person to help me deal with all this if not I want to be cremated and my ashes spread out over the Gulf of Mexico. My only true “happy place”.